Wednesday, July 7, 2010

An imperfect fairytale

The toothfairy conundrum ... What DOES she do with the teeth?

She lost another tooth ...

An incisor this time.

Luckily the Tooth Fairy was notified in time for her to break the last $20 in her special Tooth-Reimbursement Wallet. She knew the only other denomination in all of Tooth Fairy Land that night was a $50, which belonged to another Tooth Fairy Land resident.

You know I'm making this all up, right? I have no idea what's in the Tooth Fairy's wallet ... or if she even has a wallet.

Rituals surrounding the loss of primary teeth span cultures and are older than history.

The Tooth Fairy, Dog Bless her, is, by most accounts, one of the more modern of all mystical beings known for breaking into the houses of children. She's seems to have appeared from nowhere a little more than 100 years ago, presumably to make the scary part of growing up a little more enjoyable.

And having materialized from thin air and fairy dust, she has the most elastic of rituals. She has a special door, she slides through keyholes, she takes the tooth, she leaves the tooth, she gives coins or bills or trinkets. Sometimes she leaves toothbrushes ... For every house she has a different routine.

Of course, she's also the most hardworking of all sprites, seeing as how there's no set day in which she visits ... which means she sometimes forgets, which means she's the only mythical being who is allowed to be imperfect.

For instance, when Ittybit woke up this morning and found her tooth (as requested) in addition to a $5 bill (We are on the high side of the Tooth Fairy Inflationary Index) but not a note from the fairy herself answering the question in the postscript: "What do you do with all the baby teeth you collect" ... I knew I could just wave my hands in the air and make some excuse that would the poor fairy off the hook.

It would also give me time to Google the internuts.

Everything from makes castles out of them to reissues them to new babies was among the potential alternatives.

Jay LG: "ever heard of calcium fortified orange juice? or milk? she's also been known to make generic calcium tablets."

Underwonder: "She donates them to ex-hockey players and homeless people."

Concerned: "Well, of course, the tooth fairy builds the most wonderful creative playgrounds for all the children who need fun, out of those beautiful sparkly white toothy bricks. You can dream about this if you choose."

Skookum: "The tooth fairy has a recycling program. You know that grainy stuff in toothpaste? That's the ground up teeth."

Terry: "The teeth are brought into the fairies' circle and danced into releasing the Magick into the world. This is how Magick and Magickal creatures have lasted and will last as long as there are children."

Jupiteress: "I was told and I believe they build castles with them. They also use them in the dreams of dentists."

Smokey D: "She uses them to make dentures to replace those her aging parents are constantly breaking eating Werthers hard candies."

So ...

That's my question for the day ...

What do you think the Tooth Fairy does with all those baby teeth?


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