Well folks, before I launch into the weekend survey of fun things to do with the kids (and without them), I should mention that next week we are off to Vacationland and all that entails. ... Usually sitting around my mother-in-law's abode trying to fend off Maine's state bird and driving each other UP THE WALL with innane inquiries such as: What do you want for dinner? What will the kids eat? Is it raining out? Are you going to the beach? Would you like ice cream? Are you planning to get off that couch at all this week?

Ah, vacation. Same angst, different scenery. ... Suffice to say, posts here are likely to be sparse, if at all.

Of course the house will be protected by super security system 2000, which will be fine against would-criminals but will leave us up sh*t creek without the proverbial implements of navigation if the roof caves in.



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WHAT TIME IS IT?
4:30? ... Almost time for Troy Night Out! The collar city is more than just court houses and crosswalks; it is also filled with arts and culture. Come out to Troy on the last Friday of any given month from 5 to 9 p.m. and see what you’ve been missing.


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THOSE TWO GUYS!
Dave Cox and Pat Ferri are presenting Comedy for the New Depression, at 7 p.m. on Saturday, Aug. 1 at Performance Space for the 21st Century (PS21) in Chatham. If you haven't seen Those TWO Guys in person you might not understand that CRAZY should be their middle name. Family fun for the whole family in a space not to be missed. $25 for adults; $7 for children under 14.

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OLANA, BOBANA, FE, FI, FOFANA, OLAAAANA
The Wagon House Education Center at Olana's historic farm complex still has spots left for its summer week-long programs:

THE JOURNEY, an outdoor exploration and arts program, runs Aug. 3 through Aug. 7. The fee per week is $165 per child ($125 for members of The Olana Partnership) and is geared for children ages 6 to 12, who will work in small groups at the Frederic Church estate as they journey to one of the locales visited by Church in the 19th century. Children will encounter art, music, history, poetry and nature as they explore the world of the landmark Hudson River School painter.

An Ice Cream Social for program participants and their families takes place the Sunday evening preceding the session.

RIVER SCHOOL, a dramatic arts program, runs Aug. 17 through Aug. 21. The fee per week is $140 per child ($100 for members of The Olana Partnership) and is geared for students ages 7-14, who will create their own play from soup-to-nuts in a non-competitive live theater program. This week-long "full process" experience will include creating original scripts, sets and props. Themes will explore living on a farm in the 1800s and jumping into a Hudson River School painting. A final performance is open to the public Friday, Aug. 21 at 11 a.m. at the Wagon House Education Center.

Call 828-1872, extension 110 for more information on week-long art camps or register online.

ART IN THE BARN, is sure to delight tots (3 to 5 years of age) and their caretakers every Saturday from noon to 4 p.m. at the Wagon House Education Center. The drop-in art studio is for youngsters who are just starting to dabble in their artistic genius. Using themes such as The Hudson River, architecture, art and nature and farm history for inspiration, center educators will help you and the kids get messy and explore different art including dance and storytelling. This program is free.


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UPCOMING:

AND THE PULIZER GOES TO ...

I have come to terms with the notion that the only Pulizer I will ever get will likely be a Lilly Pulizer - the colorful and flamboyantly printed designer clothes and accessories that redefined casual elegance, and has been a mainstay of the society set for the past 50 years.

Now, I may not have one fashionable bone in my body, but the dress that started Lilly on the road to a Jubilee celebration is something I can TOTALLY identify with because of its humble origins; it was made solely to hide juice stains. Slobs of the word unite!

Of course the pricetags -- between $150 and $500 for dresses -- make procurement on my part a matter of when I am able to stop uttering the phrase: "YOU JUST SPILLED JUICE ON ME AGAIN!" My guess? Five to 10 years at the earliest.

But that's beside the point, which is: Lilly Pulizer is celebrating 50 years in business with a series of events at The Pink Paddock Boutique in Saratoga Springs.

*On Aug. 7, a Lilly Pulitzer Traveling Retrospective of the designers vintage looks will take place at the Gideon Putnam Resort. Guests can shop the current collection while partaking in cocktails and hors d'oeuvres. Print designer Rebecca Allred will be in attendence and will create hand-painted prints for customers who spend $400 or more.

*An all-day "shopping event" will take place Aug. 8 at the shop, located at 380 Broadway.

*On Sunday, Aug. 9, Lilly Pulizer and The Pink Paddock sponsor the Saratoga Polo Tournaments, which will feature contests, rides in a Lilly Pulitzer printed Jeep, and opportunites to hob nob with designer Allred.


Some of you who are past the "WHO GAVE JUNIOR THE PERMANENT MARKER?!" phase might like to check it out.