My bank wants to be in a "relationship" with me.

That's what the advertising says, anyway.

It's not much of a stretch that banks would want to ride the social marketing wave. They've been enticing new customers with wedding gifts for generations. Still, it irks me like shoptalk at a party.

Relationships, Trusted Friends, Family. ... are now phrases that are often followed by pages of small print.

Thing is ... I don't want to be in a relationship with my bank unless they're willing to change a diaper or put the kids to bed.